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Posted by Matt Furey on Monday, 28 December 1998, at 11:33 a.m.
Success guru Anthony Robbins, who leads motivational "firewalks" all over the world (total shams if you ask my opinion), frequently refers to something called "modeling." In Robbins' seminars he teaches that success leaves clues. Therefore, if you want to succeed at anything, look at the clues left behind from those who have attained fame, fortune and success ... then do as Robbins would suggest and model those clues and you, too, will be a great one.
Being that our reigning president, William Jefferson Clinton, supposedly met with Robbins and learned a thing or three from him, we could assume that some of the president's current behaviors were learned from the success guru. But that would be a stretch, so I won't pretend I have any facts on this matter.
What I do have, though, are a list of leadership tactics the rest of this country can "model" whenever they are faced with some sort of personal or professional crisis, and these leadership tactics are those I have noted after having spent a long period of time scrutinizing our current commander in chief. Those of you out there who wish to wash your hands of any and all sins you have committed ... heed these lessons, as they pave the road to power and fame, or the maintenance of it. So here they are, my friends, listed in no particular order .... the 13 Leadership Tactics of William Jefferson Clinton.
1. Never admit a wrongdoing until and unless evidence is 100% against you and can be scientifically validated by your own DNA.
2. While in the midst of a crisis, body language is of utmost importance. It has been said that communication is 7% words, 38% voice tone and the rest nothing more than body english. So pay particular attention to the latter. Words mean little if anything, afterall, you can change your version of the truth on a daily basis and no one will fault you for it, much less remember. What they will remember, however, is the way you smile when being questioned; the way you wag a finger and deny any wrongdoing; the way you bite your lower lip; the way you put on your bifocals to read something touching (especially when you NEVER use them to read speech after speech); the way you walk with your wife and daughter, not to mention your dog; the way you wave to crowds, even if they don't exist; the way you suddenly grow saddened and wipe tears from your eyes when the cameras are rolling after a funeral - when seconds earlier you were laughing with a minister friend. Yes, body language is important, so never waver in how you use it.
3. Have a phalanx of ever-ready cabinet members and press agents ready for television talk shows, and regardless of how abysmal your chances look, regardless of how ludicrous your arguments ... continue as if nothing bad has happened.
4. Search and destroy the credibility of anyone who attacks you. This can be done via newspaper stories or the nightly news. Become especially good at label-mongering, calling people "stalkers" ..."bimbos" ... "nuts" and last but not least "sluts."
5. Marry a woman who may actually play a larger role as your business-partner than as your lover.
6. Continually say that you are acting in the best interests of the American people and appear altruistic rather than selfish.
7. Redefine words, terms, phrases and sentences to mean what you want them to mean, rather than what is commonly understood by a sixth grader.
8. Even if you have a stupendous memory, be selective in the use of it when being questioned in front of a grand jury.
9. Stay busy abroad when you have troubles at home.
10. When troubles at home continue to rise, even when you are abroad, return home immediately and bomb another country.
11. Carry the Bible in your hand when you go to church, and make sure the words "HOLY BIBLE" are bold enough that they can be photographed from 100 feet away. Don't laugh. This one gesture of Bible-toting is enough to make half of all Americans believe that you are either a good man, or a man who is being redeemed.
12. Never give up ... no matter what. Be persistent in your efforts and regardless of how many scandals come up, stay the course. Be like a horse with blinders.
13. When the opposition's case grows, give speeches about "ending devisiveness" and dischord ... about healing wounds ... and about ending "the politics of personal destruction."
They they are folks. The 13 Leadership Tactics of William Jefferson Clinton. Put them to use in your life, "model" them, and I guarantee they will help you get away with virtually anything.
[The Sarge's Log is written by Matt Furey, a national and world champion wrestler as well as an author with a Ph.D. in political incorrectness. To contact him regarding seminars and/or products call (408) 448-6818 or visit his webpage at www.combatwrestling.com.]
Matt Furey
Read 'The Sarge's Log' each day at www.combatwrestling.com
(408) 448-6818
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